The underground song critic's game review on, "super monkey ball adventure"
Hey, normally, I would review sonic underground songs. But today, I decided to review a game, THE MOST AGGRIVATING GAME I HAVE! I'm talking about Super Monkey Ball Adventure. To start off, what were they thinking? Taking the most mentally challenging game genre Sega ever spawned, and turn it into a sandbox mission adventure game. It just blows my mind this game actually exists! I'm serious!
So, the story behind this lovechild of Sega and travelers tales? Here it is; the prince and princess of two rival kingdoms who view each other as monsters fall in love and plan to get married. Sound familiar? If Romeo and Juliet comes to mind, well you're correct! This isn't even a cheap knockoff! It's the same story base! By god
oh yeah, where was I
OH YEAH, the story! Well, the two rival kingdoms quarrel has opened a riff to the puzzle realm and unleashes a shroud of sadness across the monkey ball world. And you, as one of the four monkeys; Aiai the brave, Gongon the strong, Baby the swift, and Meemee the dumbs***. To help people out, defeat Naysayers, solve old style monkey ball puzzles to open doors, and further the plot to stop the feud and have the two lovebirds, and the entire Monkey Ball planet, live happily ever after. Sound easy, right?
I didn't think so! This thing's story mode is painstakingly LONG, TEDIOUS, and UNFORGIVING! And the voice acting can be cleared up in one sentence: "ooky-ooka-moonkeyy-mookaa-ka-ka" which means "this is the freaking voice acting in a nutshell!" Gongon also does it instead of his usual grunts. And that crap drones over you for the WHOLE freaking GAME! That's why I play it on mute. That crap is unbearable! The only advantage you get in the game is a bunch of chants that activate certain powers. But, unfortunately, you can't use them in the freaking puzzle realms. And those puzzle realms are a B****! If there was a score on how many fallouts I got on that game, it would replace the counter with a picture of Vegeta crushing a scouter with his bare hands yelling, "total fallouts
IS WAY OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAANNNNDDD!!!!!!!!!! And I'm not over exaggerating I'm dead serious! This is supposed to be a children's game, HAVE MERCY! It's a pain to finish on 100% and after you do, heres what happens. The prince and princess get married, peace is restored, and its revealed that the guy who looks like a spaceman is Aiai from the future and creator of the monkey balls, father of Baby, and co-manager of a place called Aigon industries. Then after that
NOTHING! No unlockables, no higher difficulties, and NO EXTRAS WHATSOEVER! What a freaking WASTE! Well, speaking of future Aiai, in party mode theres an unlockable playable future Aiai! And I was trying to unlock him. That's why I bothered to do so in the first place. So, after I do it, after I completely finished it
NOTHING! So I thought I had to completely finish the puzzle realms all across the world. So after that
STILL FREAKING NOTHING! Then I decided "screw it" and did EVERYTHING! I bought everything, I bought everyone, I did all the puzzles, and I did everything! And afterwards
CRAP! NOTHING! That's BULLCRAP! So I decided to forget it and played some party games but then I figured out that I could barely control the characters! My monkey was all
what the heck am I saying!? My god
afterward, I decided to screw around with story mode. But afterwards, I figured out that I have a total of four save slots. Meaning in order to unlock future Aiai for a mode I can't even really play, I had to play story mode from start to 100 with ALL FOUR MAIN CHARACTERS! BULL
CRAP!!! I couldn't take it, so I decided to stop playing for a while.
So, this game is kinda good, but it's too unforgivable! UNFORGIVABLE I TELL YOU! I don't even know how I even accomplished the Aiai story mode. Most of the stuff I did was a bunch of leaps of faith. Mostly all the missions and puzzles were undoable. Yes, that's a word. Take a page out of Dane Cook's book and Google that crap. Anyway, I couldn't believe it
that stuff is crap, and the "ookeee-oookaaa-ookaa-moo-kaka!" crap wasn't helping. So, bottom line, I wouldn't recommend this game to people with the following: short attention spans, weak puzzle skills, and people that cant do impossible crap in under 60 seconds playing as a guy who cant even jump until much later in the game. But overall, I'm not stopping you. So, if you're a fan of Monkey Ball, and can actually take this long and tedious crap, go ahead! I'm not stopping you. go a-freaking-head! You'll see! Overall, it's not a bad game
BUT ITS SO IMPOSSIBLE THAT IT DOS'NT NEED A HARDER DIFFICULTY! My god